Live For Tomorrow
by aki.ari
Summary: Things look bleak for Allen, this may very well be his last mission but Kanda's not willing to give him up so easily. Sequel to Not All Things Change. Yullen


**Live For Tomorrow**

"Kanda put me down, everyone's staring," Allen said pouting as Kanda carried him bridal style down the halls of the Black Order towards the infirmary. "I'm fine really."

"Shut up," Kanda muttered as he kept walking ignoring the protests of the boy in his arms.

It had been a little over a month since Allen's breakdown. Kanda and Allen had been almost inseparable. The older male had taken it upon himself to monitor Allen and always be there to support the white haired boy especially since Allen was much too stubborn to go to him of his own accord.

The people at the Order noticed the difference in the boys' relationship with each other though they valued their lives too much to ask about it. That however didn't stop their lingering glances especially when the two were openly affectionate.

Kanda and Allen had just returned from a mission and Allen had managed to sprain his ankle, needless to say Kanda had forcefully insisted that Allen keep the pressure off the injury.

"Kanda," Allen whined as he wriggled in the older male's arms a bit to emphasize his desire to walk.

"Stop fussing," Kanda whispered breathily in Allen's ear effectively causing two things to happen: Allen ceased all movement and speech and a deep blush painted his cheeks. A smirk twisted the corners of Kanda's mouth as he quickened his pace towards the infirmary.

"Allen! What happened dear?" the head nurse asked looking quite worried. As she figured it, if Kanda was carrying him it must be something serious.

"It's nothing really, Kanda's overreacting," Allen said as he was placed onto one of the free beds.

"He sprained his ankle," Kanda said simply, "he can't even stand upright let alone walk."

The head nurse stared at Kanda for a moment, it was only a sprained ankle, she was truly wondering about their relationship. It wasn't like she thought a sprained ankle wasn't due for attention but in the manner Allen had been brought into the room she'd been sure there was something seriously wrong – there'd been times where the boy had dragged himself bloodied and broken back to HQ all by himself when he shouldn't have been able to move so a small sprain was hardly something that would have stopped the white haired exorcist from getting back.

"I'll take care of it right away," the head nurse said smiling as she removed Allen's boot and sock to see the swollen skin and the slight purplish tint to the pale skin. After a few minutes she determined that the ligament had been stretched too far and some of the fibers had torn. She put a brace on it and told him to put as minimal pressure on it as he could manage until the ligaments had repaired themselves.

"See Kanda I told you it wasn't anything serious," Allen said as he slid off the bed only to cringe at the pain that shot up his leg at the impact with the ground.

"Baka Moyashi," Kanda grumbled as he caught Allen's shoulders to steady him as the boy accommodated for the injury.

"Thanks," Allen mumbled as he found his centre of gravity.

"Che," Kanda walked ahead of Allen. "You want to get something to eat?" Kanda asked looking back at Allen though he knew the boy would just shake his head – Allen really couldn't stomach food anymore so he settled for various assortments of herbal teas. Kanda had eventually gotten Allen to explain his predicament to Komui who seemed even more perturbed about the boy's condition and had even tried to lock Allen up in the infirmary indefinitely or at least until he could find a cure. Allen had adamantly protested and as a result of the whole ordeal the head nurse determined Allen's body could no longer produce the necessary enzymes to digest food which explained the nauseous feeling and the vomiting when he did eat.

"No I'm just going to head back to my room," Allen said smiling as he carefully made his way to the door.

"You're so damn stubborn," Kanda muttered as he pulled Allen closer to him so the boy could lean against him for support.

"I take it you're going with me then?" Allen asked laughing lightly.

"Che," Kanda walked slowly with Allen at his side until they reached the boy's room.

"You can go, you're probably hungry by now," Allen said as he took a seat on his bed.

"You're not going too go crazy on me and start smashing mirrors like you did on the mission right?" Kanda asked as he glanced at the newly replaced mirrors in Allen's room.

"If I say no will you believe me?" Allen asked.

"Depends," Kanda said.

"On?" Allen asked.

"If I say yes will you tell me if that was a lie or not?" Kanda asked.

"Maybe," Allen said a smile turning the corners of his mouth, "say it and we'll find out."

"Che damn brat," Kanda said in mild annoyance, though he had to suppress a smile. "Yes I'll believe you."

"In that case no I won't go crazy," Allen said as he spared a glance in the direction of the full body mirror against the wall. "When you get back you can determine for yourself it was a lie or not."

"Is it so hard to rely on me when you're breaking?" Kanda asked, voice soft,

"I love you, isn't that enough?" Allen said in response.

"I'll be back soon, so don't do anything stupid," Kanda said as he opened the door to leave. "Or else I'll kick your ass," he added with a smirk.

Allen sighed as he was left alone in the room his smile faltering as he stared at the mirror disdainfully. 'He really will fall with me…and he calls me the idiot,' Allen mused as he carefully walked over to the mirror and draped his sheet over its surface.

xXx

"Yuu, how's Allen?" Lavi asked as he sat at the table across from Kanda and his bowl of Soba.

"Moyashi's a stubborn fool and he pisses the hell out of me," Kanda muttered feeling rather angry that he and Allen had both expressed their mutual love for each other yet Allen still chose to distance himself. It had been a whole month already and Allen had yet to come to Kanda in need of support of his own will, it was always Kanda pushing himself upon Allen begging the boy to need him as much as he needed to be with him.

"Don't be like that Yuu-" Lavi was cut of by Mugen being pointed menacingly at his throat.

"Call me that again and I swear I'll run you through," Kanda muttered annoyed that the idiot red head hadn't just been happy calling him by his first name the once without almost dying and insisted on doing it again.

"Okay, okay, put that away," Lavi said leaning backwards and almost falling off the bench in the process.

"Che," Kanda sheathed Mugen and continued with his meal waiting for Lavi to continue.

"I've looked through all of the books available to the order and there's nothing on prolonging the life of a parasitic innocence user's body. They are generally more powerful, what with their sync ratio being much higher as it's a part of their body but they burn out much faster and they often die in battle before they reach their full potential and their innocence begins to eat away at its host. Allen's probably the first one to last this long having reached his full potential – exceeding the hundred percent sync ratio," Lavi said. "Komui hasn't turned up anything either. He said he's not going to send Allen out on any missions for as long as he can help it. Though you've been shielding him a lot and minimizing the damage he sustains in battle, he's still reckless and since he can't even eat anymore his body just won't be able to last too much longer."

Kanda was silent as he took in the information the junior bookman had to offer.

"That said, even though you'd probably rather stay at Allen's side Komui has a mission he needs you and me to go on. It was a direct order from the Vatican so we can't say no," Lavi said frowning.

"You're saying we should leave the unstable brat alone for-" Kanda paused looking at Lavi seriously.

"Three days," Lavi supplied.

"Baka Moyashi can't stay alone for an hour without getting himself into trouble and we're supposed to leave him alone for three whole days?" Kanda asked incredulously.

"I never said I liked it. I said we can't refuse," Lavi said. "Allen will be here at the Order so he should be fine until we get back – maybe we can even chain him up in the infirmary like Komui had suggested that time."

Kanda stared blankly at Lavi 'as if that would blow over well. Baka Moyashi would probably injure himself breaking out of the damn restraints and actually need medical attention' Kanda thought dully.

"Baka Usagi, say something useful or keep your mouth shut. It's damn annoying hearing you speak all the time," Kanda scowled.

"Aww you hurt me with your words Yuu, and all I was trying to do was help you protect your dear little Moya-" Lavi said dramatically only to be silenced by the sound of Mugen sliding about an inch out of its sheath and a deadly glare from two angry cobalt eyes.

"Don't stop on my account. Please do continue," Kanda's voice was anything but pleasant and the underlying threat was not lost on Lavi as the male laughed nervously and stood.

"I'll see you in Komui's office for mission specs later," Lavi said before leaving Kanda alone to finish his meal.

xXx

"Allen," Kanda called as he knocked on the door to the younger boy's room. There was no answer. Kanda had been as quick as possible but Lavi's little chat had detained him longer than he'd have liked especially since he knew he'd be leaving Allen alone for three days. "Allen, open the fucking door!" Kanda yelled as he banged a little harder on the door. Kanda heard movement in the room followed by a muffled yelp and a thud before Allen opened the door looking a bit disheveled.

"What the hell?" Kanda cocked a brow in questioning.

"Sorry, I fell asleep," Allen replied a light dusting of pink in his cheeks, "and I fell out of bed when I heard you yell."

Kanda's eyes narrowed in scrutiny for any sign that Allen had been lying but sighed as he found none – not that he'd see it if Allen had really meant to hide the truth. 'How can I leave him alone for three days when not only does he have a sprained ankle but he's so clumsy he fell out of bed?' Kanda thought in mild dismay at the predicament.

"You didn't agitate it when you fell did you?" Kanda asked gesturing to his foot.

"No, I told you I'm fine," Allen said sighing as he opened the door further to let the older male in.

"Actually I can't come in now," Kanda said cursing the Vatican for having him sent out on a mission now. "I have a mission with Lavi, a direct order from the Vatican. I just came to check up on you before I went to Komui's for the briefing. "

"Oh," Allen said simply, "be careful."

"That's all you can manage to say? Be careful?" Kanda asked. 'At least sound a little upset that I'll be leaving you,' Kanda thought bitterly.

Allen's eyebrows knitted together as a frown set across his features. 'What does he expect me to say? Don't go?' Allen thought, not understanding Kanda's frustration.

"You'll take care of yourself while I'm gone right? And stay out of trouble," Kanda said cobalt eyes looking into flustered silver ones.

"What am I, two?" Allen pouted. "I'm more than capable of taking care of myself Kanda."

"Che," Kanda leaned forward, capturing Allen's lips with his in a soft but needy kiss. "It'll only be three days, I promise so please don't do anything reckless." Allen's eyes had glossed over with passion from the kiss and nodded weakly.

'Damn that was childish,' Kanda thought as he turned.

"Kanda," Allen called causing the older male to stop and glance back towards the soft voice. "I'll miss you," Allen's face flushed a light shade of pink as the words left his lips. Kanda felt almost giddy on the inside at that but settled for a slight smirk before he headed off down the hall.

xXx

"Yuu relax a bit, Allen's going to be fine," Lavi said smiling though it seemed as though he was trying to convince himself more than reassuring the Japanese male.

"Try not to look so worried next time you say that," Kanda said his gaze hardening as he looked out at the passing scenery.

Lavi fell into silence as he stared at his partner. It would be a long three days for the both of them and the cramped train compartment wasn't helping.

xXx

"Allen, how are you?" Lenalee asked as she took a seat next to the pale boy.

"I'm fine," Allen said smiling.

"Where's Kanda? It's strange seeing you alone," Lenalee said.

"He's on a mission and it's not _that _strange," Allen said defensively as a blush crept up his cheeks.

"I didn't mean anything by it, there's nothing wrong with you two being together," Lenalee said.

"It's n-not like that," Allen said face flushing in embarrassment.

"Really Allen, even if you both weren't my friends, I can tell just by the look in his eyes when he looks at you how much he cares," Lenalee said.

"He's foolish," Allen said his tone somber.

"And you aren't?" Lenalee said. "I noticed when your relationship changed but Allen you've been keeping Kanda at arms length this whole time, which is surprising because I always thought he'd be the one holding back."

"I don't…it's not…we're not…" Allen's voice caught in his throat as he struggled with his thoughts.

"Allen, do you love Kanda?" Lenalee asked and smiled as she noticed the deeper crimson that stained the boy's cheeks. "Please be honest with me. I care about you and you always look so pained when you're looking at Kanda."

"It's not right," Allen said softly.

"What is right Allen? Obsessing over missions to avoid dealing with the frustration. Louvelier's intimidating, he scares me too," Lenalee said.

"I do love him, but it just won't work out and I'm selfish for wanting to be with him even though I'll only cause him pain," Allen said his silver eyes falling to his hands.

"You shouldn't be the only one to decide that and you're probably causing him more pain by keeping that distance," Lenalee said.

"Can we drop the subject I don't want to talk about it," Allen said as a smile broke out on his face.

xXx

"Allen, Komui needs to see you in his office," Reever said as he passed the boy in the hall, a tall stack of papers in his hands.

"Alright," Allen said changing his course to the science department. 'I wonder what it's about,' Allen thought as he carefully walked down the hall, sticking close to the wall just incase he needed the support.

"You wanted to see me," Allen said as he poked his head into the room.

"Oh Allen come in," Komui said smiling nervously, "have a seat." Allen did as he was told and waited patiently for the scientist to state his reason for calling him.

"There's a mission for you from Louvelier," Komui said. "I tried to get him to postpone it if not give it to someone else because your ankle hasn't healed completely yet but he wouldn't hear of it."

"That's quite alright, I'm more than capable of going out now," Allen said smiling. "What's the mission?" Komui stared at Allen sadly for a moment before sighing.

"You'll be going to Saint Petersburg in Russia, I wasn't given much specifics about the mission except to have you on the train tonight and how you'll be met by a finder once you get to the city who'll fill you in on what the mission entails," Komui said. Allen nodded as he took in the information, 'this doesn't sound too good.' He felt uneasy with the lack of information, especially being a mission from Louvelier.

"I'm so sorry Allen," Komui said looking rather distraught that he had to send the boy out again and without anyone to back him up. Komui didn't like being in the dark when it came to the exorcists and this mission seemed more of a death sentence of some sort, what with the vague yet firm instruction.

"I'll be fine, it'll take just under a week to get there so by the time I reach the city I should be all healed up," Allen said smiling as he stood and headed towards the door. "I'll go pack, did he say how long the mission is supposed to last?"

"He wasn't very clear but I suspect that whatever the case it won't be under a week in length," Komui said.

"Alright then, when does the train leave?" Allen asked.

"8 o'clock," Komui answered. Allen nodded and made to leave but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. "Allen, how do you stand with the pills? You've been taking them on time every day right?"

"Everything's fine, I've been taking them," Allen said as he patted his pocket in emphasis, showing that he even kept them on his person at all times.

"Take care of yourself and don't over do it. If there's any problem, just contact me through Timcanpy and I'll do my best to help," Komui said seriously.

"Thank you but that won't be necessary," Allen said, his smile never faltering even though his uneasiness was building within him. He wouldn't tell Lenalee he was leaving – she would surely protest and cause a needless fuss. If the Vatican ordered it, there was nothing any of them could do about it without being labeled a traitor or a heretic. Since Allen had already labeled one of those titles – suspect to in any case – he really couldn't afford to do anything to upset them lest he'd probably be executed for his treason.

xXx

'I wonder how long I'll last, there's a little over a month left until Christmas so chances are this mission will be my last,' Allen thought as he gazed out of the window of the train compartment, Timcanpy curled up in his lap. 'I can't really complain though, I'd rather die in battle saving someone's soul than in a bed at the Order crying about how useless I am.'

The scenery continued to pass by the window in blurs of greens and earthy browns – a surreal atmosphere hung over Allen as tears welled up in glassy silver eyes. He didn't want to die. He had to keep walking, had to keep his promise, but it was just so difficult and his deteriorating body did nothing to help his faltering spirit.

Feeling a pang of pain in his heart Allen fished out the box of pills from his pocket. Staring at it idly Allen shook a single pill from the case, the tiny off-white pill lay in his trembling hand. 'To think something this small has been drawing out my life – prolonging the inevitable' Allen thought before placing the pill into his mouth and swallowing. Grimacing slightly at the bitter aftertaste the pill left on his tongue Allen sighed and shook his head.

'God I'm so tired,' Allen thought as he felt the pangs of pain in his heart ebb away, 'so very tired.' Silver eyes slid shut as he was lulled to sleep by the movement and sounds of the train.

xXx

"Where the fuck is the damn finder?" Kanda growled out in annoyance as his steely gaze surveyed the area.

"Calm down Yuu, I'm sure he's here somewhere," Lavi said as his own emerald eye took in their surroundings.

They had gotten off the train as scheduled and had waited for almost an hour for the finder that was supposed to explain the mission in detail. The two would have gone off on their own had their mission statement not been so vague. _Go to London, there's a problem regarding innocence and akuma that needs immediate attention. The finder will meet you at the train station and fill you in on the details. _

"I'm sorry I'm late," a gasping breath called, as a young female finder ran across the platform.

"Why the fuck are you so damn late?" Kanda was angry, he was already displeased about the mission itself and now he had to deal with an incompetent finder who couldn't keep track of time.

"I'm sorry," the girl cringed as her breathing slowly returned to normal and the gasps for breath had subsided.

"Yuu be a little nicer will you, clearly she wasn't taking her time and she ran here. See she's all out of breath," Lavi said smiling as he placed a hand on the girls shoulder. "Don't worry about him, he doesn't particularly like anyone," Lavi paused thinking over the information.

"Well I shouldn't say that. He doesn't hate _everyone,_" Lavi said shooting a mischievous glance towards Kanda who responded with a glare.

"Baka Usagi, shut the hell up," Kanda growled in annoyance. The finder stared in confusion as she took in the interaction.

"Umm, I'll take you to the inn you'll be staying at," she said interrupting the glaring contest that had ensued.

"Ok, by the way what's your name?" Lavi asked cheerfully as he bounded away from Kanda without a second thought.

"Oh forgive my lack of manners, I'm Sheryl," the girl said smiling as she walked next to Lavi down the street with a fuming Kanda bringing up the rear.

"So Sheryl, where is the innocence?" Lavi asked.

"You don't know?" Sheryl asked slightly surprised.

"Were we supposed to know?" Kanda asked suspiciously.

"It's not that, it's just rather odd that you'd come on a mission with no knowledge of what it entails. It's not exactly proper procedure to go blindly into a situation," Sheryl explained.

"We were told you'd fill us in when we got here and it was an Order from the Vatican so we couldn't exactly press the subject when they had specifically told us that," Lavi said. Sheryl blinked before nodding her understanding.

"Well the situation currently stands as such: there is innocence in the bridge leading to the chapel. Whenever someone goes to cross the bridge the whole structure disappears. Should the person have been unlucky enough to be on the bridge at the time they fall into the river. When the akuma get near the bridge they get repelled by what appears to be a shock wave and they, for lack of a better term, go crazy for a few minutes before self destructing," Sheryl explained.

The two exorcists exchanged weary glances – Kanda's holding much more anger, this didn't sound like a three day mission.

xXx

"Lenalee!" Komui said joyfully as said female walked into the room a cup of coffee in hand and a mildly worried look on her face.

"You haven't seen Allen by any chance? Jerry said he didn't come by for breakfast this morning and it's almost noon," Lenalee said as she set the cup of coffee on the mess of papers that cluttered her brother's desk.

"Allen went on a mission last night," Komui said his expression suddenly darkening.

"What?" Lenalee's voice was shrill and panicked. "He can't even walk properly right now!"

"I'm sorry there was nothing I could do," Komui said resting his hands on her trembling shoulders.

"Why? What was so important that he had to go? Couldn't you have sent me instead? Or waited until Kanda and Lavi got back from their mission?" Lenalee asked as she leaned into her brother's arms for the warm comfort that was to be found there.

"It was a mission directly from Louvelier and the Vatican," Komui said and Lenalee tensed understanding the subtle undertones of the statement - Allen couldn't refuse.

"Who went with him?" Lenalee asked. At this Komui sighed looking none to pleased about the situation.

"He went alone," Komui said. Lenalee flew into hysterics at this as tears began to stream down her cheeks.

"He was sent on a mission by Louvelier when he's still injured and he doesn't even have a partner? How could you let that happen? To hell with Louvelier, Allen is much more important than these stupid games he's being forced to play! You know what Louvelier did to me, think about what he'll do to Allen – look at what he's _doing_ to Allen!" Lenalee yelled.

"Lenalee please calm down," Komui said hugging her tighter. "Allen is a strong boy, he'll be fine and if anything goes wrong I'll tell Lavi and Kanda to head over to his location."

"He's slipping isn't he?" Lenalee asked. Silence settled across the two, save for Lenalee's sobs.

xXx

"Kanda slow down will you!" Lavi yelled as Kanda ran at the group of akuma hovering near the bridge destroying them all.

"You're being too reckless, we need to figure out how to get at the innocence without it disappearing on us with the bridge, not fly off at anything that moves," Lavi said reprimanding the Japanese male.

"Baka Usagi," Kanda growled as he shot a heated glare at the red head. He was anxious and frustrated it had already been four days and they were no closer to completing the mission than they had been when they started.

"Allen's fine back at the Order, I'm sure of it. He knows sometimes missions don't go exactly as planned, so quit worrying so much about finishing this so fast when we clearly aren't moving forward with anything," Lavi said exasperated. Kanda shot him another glare as he sheathed Mugen.

"Don't look at me like that; I care about him more than you know but worrying isn't helping us get back any sooner," Lavi said heaving a sigh.

"Is that the bookman in you talking or is it _you_ Lavi?" Kanda asked bitterly. Kanda had never openly stated to anyone how much he cared about Allen but at times like these it was blatantly obvious. Lavi was silent before a smile painted itself on his face.

"Come on lover boy, lets get this thing over and done with so we can get home to your sweet little Moyashi," Lavi said running off to avoid getting cut in two by Kanda's Mugen.

"I'm going to fucking kill you," Kanda growled dangerously.

xXx

"Damn it's cold," Allen whispered as he pulled the coat closer around him.

It had taken five days to get to the Russian port town and Allen was pleased that his ankle was functional again, though he'd have to lay off some of the acrobatics to avoid a similar situation. Standing on the platform silver eyes scanned the bustling people for the one the finder who had been sent to meet him.

"Allen Walker?" a cold voice said drawing Allen's attention. Allen stared up at a tall male finder with a rather rugged appearance, hard amber eyes stared into his silver ones with annoyance and mild disgust. Allen nodded to confirm he was indeed the exorcist that he'd been sent to meet. Fidgeting under the harsh gaze Allen couldn't help but wonder what he could have done to make this finder look at him like that.

"I'm Caleb," the finder said turning and walking away. Startled Allen hastily followed so as not to be left behind, which was a task in itself with the finders' long strides and the crowded city streets.

"Your mission is to investigate the area around _the Church of our Savior on Spilled Blood. _Akuma have been frequenting the area and though the church isn't open for worship sessions there have been several odd people going in and out at ridiculous times of day. If this is being caused by innocence you are to retrieve it if not then just dispose of the offending akuma," Caleb said as he swiftly moved down the snow dusted streets.

'Church of our Savior on Spilled Blood...doesn't sound much like a sanctuary,' Allen though as his stomach knotted in discomfort.

"Do you understand?" Caleb asked, tone gruff and annoyed obviously having waited for a response from Allen.

"Yes. Where is the church?" Allen asked.

"Naberezhnaia Kanala Griboedova," Caleb replied not faltering in his stride. Allen looked up at him in bewilderment. 'What the hell does that mean?' Allen thought as he mentally begged the finder to clarify his response.

Caleb shot an annoyed glare at Allen after realizing from the silence and the look on his face that those words meant absolutely nothing to the small exorcist.

"That's the name of the area of the city it's in. We'll be travelling down the Griboedova Canal tomorrow and you can get out and begin your investigation," Caleb said seemingly struggling not to yell his annoyance at Allen. His behavior somewhat reminded the young boy of Kanda though truth be told, this finder was much more intimidating – if only because of the aura that surrounded him was cold and degrading like Louvelier's. Allen shivered at the thought.

"You'll be staying here," Caleb said stopping in front of a small inn. The finder shot another cold and annoyed glare at Allen as the boy stared up at the colorful designs on the outside walls of the inn. "I'll come back for you in the morning."

Allen turned and stared after the finder as the taller male disappeared into the crowds of people, not even sparing Allen a second glance. 'This is rather unpleasant,' Allen thought sighing as he walked into the inn and went up to the room that had been booked for him.

'Savior on Spilled Blood, wonder what happened there for the church to warrant such a title,' Allen thought as he looked out the small window at the colorful buildings, glistening beautifully under the dipping sun.

xXx

"Yuu don't be mad, how was I supposed to know that the innocence wasn't even _in_ the bridge?" Lavi whined as the two were waiting for the train to take them back to HQ. Kanda shot Lavi an agitated glare before resuming his gaze on the partly empty platform.

"Really if I'd known the innocence was on the other side of the bridge in the cemetery I'd have just hopped the bridge to get there and wouldn't have bothered with the bridge," Lavi pouted as Kanda glared silently ahead.

"Come on, don't ignore me!" Lavi cried as he popped up in front of Kanda.

"Baka Usagi," Kanda grumbled as he continued to glare at the vacant train tracks. "Where the fuck is the damn train?" Lavi stared at Kanda in silence for a moment before bursting out in laughter.

"It'll be here soon," Lavi said as his laughter died down to a large grin. "You really miss him that much?"

"Shut up," Kanda snapped. 'It's been ten days since I left him, by the time we get back it'll have been eleven days,' Kanda thought, 'he better have not done something stupid again.' Kanda was so submersed in his thoughts that he didn't even register the fact that the train had come.

"Yuu, you can stop daydreaming about him now, the train's here," Lavi whispered into Kanda's ear before bounding off towards the train.

xXx

Allen stared up at the church before him taking in its gorgeous structure from the ground up. Though this was his fourth day investigating he enjoyed looking at the artistic building before him. It held the air a medieval Russian structure would, incorporating the spirit of romantic nationalism. From afar, on the first day traveling down the canal with Caleb, Allen had assumed there were a cluster of chapels in the area but as they neared the church he had been entranced by the beauty of the ornately decorated roofs and walls that were undoubtedly part of a single structure.

The white haired boy tentatively surveyed the area surrounding the cathedral and wondered if there had been a mistake, there were currently no akuma anywhere – not even hidden amongst the humans who hustled by, there had been a couple here and there over the past couple of days but not enough to be significant in any way.

Allen made his way through two towering doors into the cathedral and smiled as his fingers traced the wall – the entire inside of the church was covered in intricately detailed mosaics, some of biblical nature and others abstract.

Allen walked through the high arched hallways, silver eyes taking in every detail he could as he felt the smoky tendrils of incense wrap around him in a soothing caress and the hauntingly beautiful organ melody lull his mind into a sense of security.

'This church hasn't been used for service in years, why would there be incense and organ music?' Allen thought suddenly on high alert. The past couple of times he'd been in the church there had been nothing to suggest that there was anyone visiting the building, except for the fact that it had been oddly clean with minimal dust tarnishing the exquisiteness of any part of the church.

Quietly making his way closer to one of the walls Allen slid along it towards the source of the music. Peering around the corner Allen's eyes widened. On the opposite end of the room from where he was, the Earl of the Millennium sat playing the organs, the sordid sound chilling Allen to the bones. To his left was Road, smiling her twisted little smile as she sat upon the annoyingly loud floating parasol, Lero.

'Noah,' Allen thought feeling his heart beat quicken in his chest. He could fight now but he felt the uneasy weighted feeling in the pit of his stomach telling him that even when he was at a hundred percent health he couldn't win against the Earl and now that his innocence was eating him alive and he was metaphorically falling apart at the seams he would most definitely loose.

The Dreams of Noah was a handful in her own right and Allen had never yet bested her. Feeling his heart beat start to fluctuate sporadically Allen bit back a pained gasp as he slowly back tracked and ducked into a different hallway. Sliding down against a wall Allen gripped at his chest trying to suppress any and all sound that was trying to tear from his body. Fumbling with the tiny pill box with trembling hands Allen mentally cursed when it fell from his hands landing with a soft thud on the floor.

Timcanpy hurriedly picked up the box for his master and shook a pill into Allen's hand. The boy shuddered as he swallowed the pill, clenching his eyes shut to ride out the waves of pain until they subsided and his heart began to beat at a steadier rhythm. Allen smiled at the golden golem, as it flew about him frantically, in a wordless gesture of thanks.

Any thoughts on attacking the Noah and the Earl had been banished in the few minutes Allen had been hiding for. Even if he had been stupid enough to persist in fighting as he was, the music had stopped and the two were gone, leaving Allen alone in the cathedral once again.

He didn't know how long he sat there against the wall praying that he could will his body to move and begging God to allow the fear and confusion to just melt away into his resolve. It had been a good few hours if nothing else. The scent of incense had dissipated and the air inside the cathedral had become much colder indicating that night had probably fallen.

"You're quite the useless brat aren't you?" Caleb said as he approached Allen through one of the arched doorways a scowl set upon his features. Dull silver eyes looked up at Caleb apologetically as he forced a weak smile to his face. Shaking his head Caleb hefted Allen up like a sack of potatoes began to walk back to the inn. Allen almost laughed at the rough treatment he'd been receiving from Caleb, it finally clicked why he felt the same aura as he did around Louvelier – this finder treated Allen like an object.

'That's all I am…an object…a marionette with too many damn people pulling on my strings,' Allen thought bitterly, eyes sliding shut as he was hauled back to the inn.

xXx

"Go on Yuu, I'll fill Komui in on the mission you go and see Allen," Lavi said as they walked through the halls of the Order. Kanda shot Lavi a quick glare though he didn't complain and headed off to Allen's room. Lavi chuckled as he watched the Japanese male walk off, trying not to look as though he really wanted to see Allen.

"Oi Moyashi I'm back," Kanda called through Allen's door. Silence was all he was met with. "Open the damn door," Kanda was anxious and didn't wait for an answer as he tried the handle only to find out it hadn't been locked. Stepping into the room Kanda's stomach clenched in worry. Allen's room was cold and empty; everything was neat and clean, as though there hasn't been anyone there in at least a week.

Turning from the room Kanda stalked down to the cafeteria and scanned the faces in the room for the white haired boy. After determining Allen wasn't in the cafeteria either Kanda searched the training hall followed by the library and along with his worry boiled his rage. Allen had done something stupid; that was the only plausible explanation for his absence.

"Kanda, you're back," Lenalee said smiling as she walked towards him.

"Where is the damn Moyashi?" Kanda asked. Lenalee's expression instantly paled. Kanda didn't like that reaction at all, something bad had happened.

"Allen's not here right now, he left on a mission the day after you and Lavi did," Lenalee said.

"What the fuck was he doing going on a mission when he was still injured?" Kanda growled in frustration as he stormed towards Komui's office, Lenalee in toe.

"Why the fuck did you let him go on a mission?" Kanda asked as he barged through the office doors, a fiery glare set upon his features.

"Oh Kanda, I'm glad to see you're alright," Komui said nervously. Lavi was still in the room and his eyes widened in shock when Kanda entered the room looking pissed as hell.

"Allen's on a mission?" Lavi asked, turning his gaze back to Komui.

"It was an order from the Vatican," Komui said stiffly, "there was nothing I could do."

"And by the Vatican you mean Louvelier," Kanda spat.

"The Vatican has been sending a lot of direct orders lately," Lavi muttered as he recalled the mission they had just returned from had been an order from the Vatican.

"Where is he?" Kanda asked.

"Russia," Komui replied as he heaved a sigh.

"Who's he with?" Kanda asked.

"Well about that, you see Kanda-" Komui was cut of by a sharp glare.

"Cut the crap and answer the damn question," Kanda's voice was dangerously low.

"He's with a finder," Komui said and hid behind a stack of papers to avoid the glares that would be burning holes through him, had they been a tangible force.

"You sent him on a mission alone? What the fuck were you thinking?" Kanda's hands were clenched into fists as he forcibly suppressed his temper from flaring.

"How long is the mission supposed to be?" Lavi asked.

"A week minimum, but since a week has already passed it could be days, weeks, even months before he gets back. Like with your mission I wasn't filled in on any of the details," Komui said.

"Send me on a mission to bring him back," Kanda said surprising everyone in the room. 'Damn Moyashi I told you not to do anything reckless,' Kanda thought.

xXx

Allen woke with a pain in his chest and hastily fished out the pill box. 'Every six hours…even if I'm asleep,' Allen sighed as he relaxed into the warm folds of the bed. His mind began to wander of the events of the day before; today he would have to search the cathedral and try to find out what the Earl was up to. If he happened to come across him and Road again he would have to fight.

Allen slid out from under the covers, a shiver running up his spine as his feet landed on the cold floor. _I'm more than capable of going out now,_ 'who the hell was I trying to kid?' Allen thought dryly as he slowly dressed.

'Keep walking forward,' the single thought made tears well up in silver eyes. 'Yesterday I couldn't help but retreat, but I won't falter a second time. I'll keep my promise Mana, I'll keep walking. There's still so much I have to do, I can't afford to hesitate now.'

"Tim, time to go," Allen called and the golden golem shook itself out of the covers and relocated into the soft white locks of Allen's hair. Allen placed his hand on the doorknob before sucking in a breath. 'I don't even know why I fight anymore but I won't stop.'

'I will keep walking forward Mana,' Allen thought as he opened the door to face the day, 'until I can no longer walk.'

xXx

"I can't allow that," Komui said.

"Why the hell not?" Kanda asked scowling at the scientist.

"There isn't any plausible reason for sending you out. Unless we get word from Allen or the finder I can't send you out," Komui said.

"You know as well as I do that the damn Moyashi needs someone to support him now more than ever. You work on something to help him and I'll go and make sure he gets back to take it," Kanda said stiffly, hands balled into fists at his side.

"Trust Allen, he's a general now and he wouldn't take to kindly if you show up there thinking he's useless," Komui said seemingly more to reassure his own worries than to calm Kanda's anger.

"The brat _will_ be useless if he ends up dead!" Kanda's voice was angry and strained. 'I can't believe I'm having this conversation with the very man who told me to look out for Allen,' Kanda thought.

"This is the end of the conversation Kanda. I can't allow you to go anywhere right now, please understand," Komui said. An utterly infuriated look set upon Kanda's features before the Japanese male stormed out of the room leaving Lenalee, Lavi and Komui in a tense silence.

"Allen is going to be alright, he won't die," Lenalee whispered, "he'll defiantly come back to us."

"Why won't you let Yuu go?" Lavi asked.

"He's not thinking clearly right now he's much too angry. It would take him near a week to even reach Russia and by then Allen may not even be there. With the way Louvelier has been ordering him around I wouldn't be surprised if Allen has already left Russia," Komui said.

"That doesn't explain why you don't want Yuu to go," Lavi pressed.

"Lenalee can you step outside for a few minutes please," Komui said, looking at his sister hoping that she'd comply.

"I have a right to know too, I'm not leaving," Lenalee said crossing her arms over her chest defiantly. Komui pinched the bridge of his nose to fight off the encroaching headache.

"Allen's condition isn't improving at all, he's been taking pills to stabilize his heart – if he doesn't take them there is a high chance that he'll die. As he is now, he's already running on empty – not being able to eat has put him at high risk. His innocence needs a lot to sustain it and as it is now Allen's is only getting the bare minimum of nutrients from the teas but he isn't getting anything to burn, no calories or carbohydrates and by all natural conventions he shouldn't be able to move and fight like he used to," Komui paused as he took in the solemn expressions on the faces of the two exorcists.

"I want to believe that Allen will be alright, but realistically speaking it's a wonder he's managed to last this long. The last set of tests I did on him suggested that he won't last past Christmas. Allen knows this and still he smiled saying that he would be fine going on this mission and that help was not necessary. This could very well be his last mission if I can't come up with something to stunt his body's deterioration," Komui said and felt the need to cry when he saw the horrified look on his sister's face.

"Allen probably figured he'd rather die fighting than here. I can't allow Kanda to go there to see Allen die," Komui heaved a sigh the weariness showing on his face. "I won't send Kanda to Allen unless there's something that can be done to save him."

"Allen isn't going to die!" Lenalee yelled as tears spilled down her face. "He's pulled through near death experiences time and time again, there's no way he's going to die now."

"This time it's his own body that's betraying him," Lavi muttered. 'What bitter irony that is,' the red haired male thought.

"Is there anything we can do, research or experiments?" Lenalee asked desperately. She was angry with her brother for having kept the severity of Allen's condition a secret from her and she cursed the white haired boy for smiling while he was slowly dying.

"Lavi have you found anything in your research?" Komui asked, being met by a sad shake of the head. "Then please continue with that. Lenalee can you try to get in touch with general Cross through the golems, it's a long shot but he may know something that could be of use to us."

With their own missions and something to bide their time the two exorcists went about their tasks. They were going to save Allen.

xXx

"This is a load of absolute bullshit," Kanda growled as he swung the wooden practice sword violently through the air. He couldn't believe how stupid Allen was, he had told him not to do anything reckless, had told him to be careful and take care of himself but the damn martyr of a kid had to go off and play hero again. Kanda didn't give a shit about the Vatican, at this point he was willing to kill them himself if it meant Allen could come back.

No one else could understand what Allen was going through, hell Kanda didn't even understand the extent of it, but Allen had broken down in front of him and had clung to him in desperation. Kanda had witnessed Allen at his most vulnerable and he couldn't banish the images from his mind, not the tear streaked face with puffy red eyes and not the screams and tremors that shook the young boy as he was plagued by nightmares.

Allen loved him, a striking passionate feeling that couldn't be more out of place during a war and Kanda had reciprocated the feeling. Heaven and Hell be damned if he were to let Allen go without a fight. Komui was a fool if he thought Kanda would sit by idly and do nothing while Allen wasted away, all alone in some forsaken country.

_I'll be dead by Christmas, there's nothing you can do._ Allen's voice replayed in Kanda's mind as his grip tightened on the hilt of the wooden sword. "Baka Moyashi," Kanda growled. 'There are twenty-five days before Christmas Moyashi and you are going to last much longer than that. You are not leaving me behind to mourn you,' Kanda thought.

xXx

"Allen, you're a naughty boy, spying on us like this," Road said grinning as she hovered above the pale boy. "Don't get me wrong, I've missed you a lot. Ever since that time in the ark I can't help but think about you."

Two more days of investigating had found Allen once again in the church amongst the colorful mosaic covered walls being accosted by the Dreams of Noah.

"You really hurt my precious Tyki at that time. I can't forgive you for that, but I love you so much Allen," Road smiled as she hopped down in front of him as he activated his innocence. "Don't be like that Allen, you have to be punished."

Allen didn't say anything but attacked stopping short as his right hand flew to his chest. Gasping in pain as his heart clenched painfully. 'Not now,' Allen thought in dismay as he tried to ignore the pain. Road looked on in confusion, leaning forward so that her face was right in front of Allen's she observed his anguished expression.

"What's wrong with you?" Road asked watching in amusement as Allen collapsed, his innocence deactivating in the process. He was gasping for breath and his eyes glassed over. "It's no fun if you play by yourself," Road pouted.

"His innocence is killing him," the Earl said a large grin on his face as he stared down at the pathetic heap on the ground of the church.

"My poor Allen, let me cut that arm off. I'll take care of you," Road said as she crouched by Allen's side resting a hand in the pure white locks of hair.

"We can help you Allen Walker," the Earl said.

"I'd rather die," Allen breathed out as he forced himself to invoke and swung at Road.

"Don't say that Allen, we still have high hopes for you," Road said smiling as she floated just out of reach. 'Keep walking forward,' Allen thought as he swung at Road again, but his body didn't have enough energy to sustain the invoked innocence and he desperately needed the pill to calm his erratic heart beat.

"Stop that Allen, its pathetic," Road pouted as several of her candles materialized around Allen. "If you don't let us help you we won't be able to play anymore." Allen glared defiantly up at Road, glancing over at the Earl who was far to amused with the situation.

He refused to give in and attacked Road, only for her to disappear through one of her doors into the floor and reappear above him. She grinned and pinned Allen to the wall with her candles – drilled through his left arm and his right wrist Allen let out a disgruntled cry as pain shot through him. Road frowned as Allen's body hung limply from the wall.

"You know why they call this the _Church of Our Savior on Spilled Blood, _Allen Walker?" the Earl asked as he made his way over to the organ and began to play a haunting melody. "Emperor Alexander II was assassinated here. He initiated reforms that freed the Russian serfs from their masters. A bomb was thrown at his royal carriage, and this church is built upon the exact spot where he was mortally wounded."

Allen groaned as he tugged at his arms in a futile attempt to dislodge himself from the wall. 'So that's how it is, he changed things for the better and he was rewarded by death and a church…this might as well be one big tomb,' Allen thought a mirthless laugh escaping his dry lips.

"Allen, why are you laughing?" Road asked as he draped herself across Allen, pressing her lips to his. Allen turned his head trying to escape the vile feeling of the Noah's lips against his own.

"He's laughing because he knows he's just as pitiful as that fool, aren't you Allen Walker?" the Earl asked. "To die for a cause that has no care for you. Even _I _pity you."

"I pity the fool who is foolish enough to pity a sinner like me," Allen spat, a tone of indignant resignation in his voice.

A broad grin spread across Road's features as she nuzzled Allen's neck before licking at the blood that trailed from the wounds on his arms.

"Allen, you've become so very cynical? What have those cruel exorcists done to you?" Road asked in a mocking yet loving tone as she stroked the side of his face.

"We can't afford to loose you yet," the Earl said as he ceased playing the organs.

"Pretty little Allen would make a wonderful doll, shall we take him back with us?" Road asked as she slowly drilled a candle into Allen's abdomen, laughing as screams of agony tore through him.

"Leave him here," the Earl said as he began to walk away.

"What a shame," Road pouted as she leaned forward into Allen, capturing his lips with hers again. "Don't die until I come back for you Allen or I may not leave your friends alone – that red head was fun to play with that time I'm sure if I tried a little harder he would be broken for good. Or maybe I'll play with that pretty girl with the long hair, she made a gorgeous doll that one time." Allen cried out again as a candle buried itself into his left thigh.

"I could always use a new toy though, that strange Japanese man who killed Skin – he seems like he could be fun," Road said laughing joyfully as she taunted Allen.

"Stay the hell away from them," Allen coughed out as blood began to bubble up in his throat.

"Hmmm, we'll see now won't we?" Road said suddenly serious. "Don't die Allen; you're the only one who can protect them."

'No pressure,' Allen thought mildly amused at the statement. He couldn't even put up a decent fight this time around and_ he _was supposed to be the only one who could save them. 'What a bloody farce,' Allen thought as his vision blurred and he chocked on the blood in his throat. Before he lost consciousness he could have sworn he saw Timcanpy fly around his face frantically, pill box in its mouth.

xXx

Caleb stared in disgust and annoyance at Allen's limp body hanging from the wall of the church, blood staining the mosaics as it traced its way to the floor where it pooled beneath him. He almost pitied the boy for being tossed into this game Louvelier had set up. 'It doesn't seem like he's betrayed us as yet,' Caleb thought as he made to remove the candles that held Allen pinned to the wall. Allen was breathing heavily his chest rising and falling too quickly to be healthy.

Caleb caught Allen as the last candle came loose, easing him slowly to the floor. The boy was bleeding profusely and his skin had a sickly pallor to it. As soon as Allen was on the floor Timcanpy dropped the box of pills into Caleb's hands. The finder looked over the box in his hands and stared questioningly at the golem who flew around Allen frantically.

Sighing as he shot an annoyed glare down at the boy Caleb got the idea and shook a pill from the box into his hand. 'Damn kid is not only useless but he's troublesome,' Caleb thought as he pushed the pill into the boy's mouth.

xXx

A few hours passed before Allen was somewhat lucid again, Caleb had bandaged his wounds and the pill had finally taken effect, heart rate evening out. Blurry eyes stared around a white room, his entire body ached. 'Well I can safely say that I'm still alive because I doubt by body would hurt like this if I were dead,' Allen thought mentally laughing.

"You're awake," Caleb said drawing the boy's attention.

"Yes," Allen said softly as he stared into the cold amber eyes of the finder, "thank you."

"You're a serious pain in the ass. What the hell am I supposed to do with you while you recover?" Caleb was clearly angry and Allen couldn't help but laugh. Caleb was taken aback by the response he'd gotten. "What's so damn funny?"

"I'm sorry but you just reminded me so much of someone I know. He probably would have said the same thing had he been here. He'd have probably reprimanded me for my stupidity as well," Allen said thinking fondly of Kanda and feeling a tug at his heart as he realized just how much he missed the older male.

It was the first time Allen had spoken so freely with the finder known as Caleb. Typically, Allen avoided getting in the man's way for fear of causing any sort of horrible, unforeseen repercussions. But he couldn't help the yearning that built up in his heart as he thought about the Japanese male. 'Kanda's probably cursing me for leaving HQ all now. He's probably pissed as hell and downright murderous' Allen thought as he his laughter grew a bit louder and ended in a fit of couching and hacking as Allen had managed to reopen the wound on his abdomen.

Caleb cocked a brow as if questioning the validity of Allen's statement. 'How can someone laugh in a state like that?' Caleb thought.

"There was no innocence in that church correct?" Caleb asked breaking the somewhat comfortable atmosphere that had set over the two. Allen shook his head, brows furrowing at the thought of what had happened.

"I don't think the Earl will show up at the church again after having been found out. I'm not sure what his reason for being there was, he'd only been playing the organ," Allen said as his coughing died down, ignoring the blood that began to stain the white bandages.

"There was no innocence and you destroyed the akuma. Your mission is over Walker," Caleb said walking to the door, "you'll return to HQ when your wounds have healed."

Allen stared after the finder as he was left alone in the room. 'I can't go back yet,' Allen thought as he forced his aching body into a sitting position. Timcanpy fluttered about baring its teeth at Allen, in a warning gesture for the boy to lie back down. 'The Earl has plans for me, up until this point he has been trying to kill me so what could he possible need of me?' Allen wondered as he pulled Timcanpy out of the air and into his cupped hands.

_Keep walking. _'Something is not right and I can't go back until I find out what it is,' Allen thought as he idly stroked the golden golem in his hands. 'If I'm right about him not returning to the cathedral chances are he'll lead me to wherever it is he wants me and the only way to do that inconspicuously would be with akuma in human form since I'm the only one who can tell the difference.'

Allen stared out the window at the beautiful Russian port town, the sun casting its first ray's across the high steeple and the colorful buildings and structures that composed Saint Petersburg. 'If I am to die here…if I can no longer walk forward…I'll take him with me,' Allen thought eyes hardening with his resolve.

xXx

Another day had passed and Kanda was training again. Over the past 46 hours since he'd been back at the Order he'd been thinking about Allen. The only thing keeping him from jumping on the next train leaving towards Russia was the direct order that he wasn't allowed to go anywhere. Kanda had never deliberately disobeyed orders before and though he burned to see Allen, to hold the fragile boy in his arms and kiss the pale skin, he restrained himself.

"Fucking hell!" Kanda cursed as he followed the fluid movements of practice that were seared into his muscles.

Lavi watched silently from by the open door at his turmoil ridden friend. He wanted to say something, anything that would calm Kanda and reassure him that the white haired boy would be alright but the only words that Kanda needed right now couldn't be spoken, not by him and not by their supervisor.

"Damn it Allen!" Kanda growled, "You stupid, fucking retarded martyr!" Kanda's violent movements ceased and his hands fell to his sides, head bowed with ebony locks falling like a curtain around him.

"Yuu," Lavi said softly as he walked closer to the ever too proud Japanese male.

"If you're here to feed me anymore bullshit about the damn brat being alright leave now," Kanda growled. Lavi felt his heart twist, Kanda was breaking waiting there for Allen – he was going mad with worry and self-loathing.

"You know why Allen will be alright?" Lavi asked screwing up his resolve.

"Shut up," Kanda's cobalt eyes shot up to meet Lavi's single emerald one with a well of conflicting emotion.

"Allen will make it through all this because he has you to come back to," Lavi said, emerald eye shining with confidence.

"He doesn't want me," Kanda muttered, "he'd rather die on his own out in some god forsaken country than to let me support him." Lavi was silent, having not expected Kanda to ever share his thoughts with him.

"He loves you right?" Lavi said seriously. Kanda just stared at him. "As long as he has something to fight for he won't die." A heavy silence settled over the training hall.

"Che, baka Usagi," Kanda said turning away from the red head. "Get out, you're disturbing my training."

"Wait a little longer, Komui knows what he's doing," Lavi said before leaving the training hall.

'Just a little longer Moyashi, wait for me a little while longer,' Kanda thought as he resumed his training, 'I'll definitely come for you.'

xXx

Allen walked down the bustling streets of Saint Petersburg. It was cold and a light snow had begun to fall. After being forced to rest a while longer by the vicious golden golem Allen's cursed eye had activated and he left. Caleb would know of Allen's absence soon enough so said boy wasted no time in following the akuma that awaited him just outside the inn.

The akuma was a level 2, easily defeated even in his current condition; it wore the skin of a young human girl. It took all of Allen's will power not to break the chains binding the poor soul to the demon skeleton. He may as well have been walking into a trap but he couldn't care less, he was going to end the damn war one way or another. He'd avenge Mana by killing the Earl and in doing so he's leave the world a safer place for his friends and his love.

'To hell with the Vatican and Louvelier, if I'm a bloody heretic then I'll die as one no matter where I am,' Allen thought as he shuddered in disgust – he was acting just like his master. He somewhat understood though, that sometimes for whatever reason, the need to disappear. He'd always hated Cross for the way he had treated him and how he had knocked him out, leaving him to face the Order alone. Cross had been considered a heretic by some and he was probably just avoiding the scrutiny that would limit his freedom.

'Who'd have ever thought I'd reach the point where I could understand that cheating, drunken, womanizing jerk?' Allen thought in amusement as he was led to the edge of the town and off into the woods.

xXx

'Well this isn't good,' Caleb thought as he took in the emptiness of Allen's room.

xXx

Komui's face was pale and he had dark bags under his eyes. 'How could this have happened? What is he thinking?' Komui thought as he looked at the anxious exorcists who were sitting on the couch in front of him.

"Quit staring at us with that pathetic look on your face, what the heck did you call us for?" Kanda asked.

"It's about Allen," Komui said. Kanda tensed in his seat and both Lenalee and Lavi held their breath in anticipation. "The finder who was with him on the mission called a while ago, Allen completed his mission and was recovering from some severe wounds," Komui paused seemingly struggling with how to continue.

"So he's coming back?" Lenalee asked hopefully.

"He went missing almost three days ago, the finder has no idea where he is and apparently he shouldn't be able to walk with the wounds he's sustained," Komui said.

"Allen's missing?" Lavi asked worry etched into his features.

"He was in bad shape after his encounter with the Earl and the Dreams of Noah. The finder had left him recovering in his room at night and when he went back in the morning Allen was gone," Komui said.

The three exorcists in the room stiffened at the knowledge that Allen had been unfortunate enough to run into Noah and the Earl on the mission.

"If he had fought with Road, there's no way he should be up and about. That sadistic little demon gets into peoples minds, she almost broke Lavi that time when we were in the ark," Lenalee said shuddering at the thought.

"Why the hell did it take three fucking days for us to find out that the damn Moyashi went missing?" Kanda growled, his eyes narrowing into a piercing glare. Komui was silent, he couldn't answer that. The finder had searched for Allen and then consulted the Vatican before contacting him.

"Lenalee have you gotten into contact with Cross yet?" Komui asked ignoring Kanda's question.

"No, even when the golem connects he's never there," Lenalee sighed.

"Try again, if you get through tell Cross of the situation," Komui said before turning his attention to Lavi. "I think I may be on to something, Hevlaska told me something interesting the other day and I'd like to talk to you about it." Lavi nodded in response and waited in silence while Komui looked wearily at Kanda.

"Kanda, tomorrow you'll leave on a mission to find and retrieve General Allen Walker," Komui said.

"Tomorrow? Why not now?" Kanda's hands were balled into fists at his sides.

"Just wait for one more day," Komui said before dismissing the both Lenalee and Kanda. Lavi looked questioningly at Komui as he was led down to Hevlaska.

xXx

Allen pulled his coat closer about him in attempts to block out the cold. He stared wearily at the akuma that lazed about the clearing. He'd followed the demon for six days, his wounds had closed up but the weather did little but further aggravate his health. He found that he needed to take the pills more regularly to keep his heart even somewhat stabilized.

He sat in this remote clearing within the wooded Russian landscape waiting for whatever was to come. It had been several hours since they'd arrived at that spot, Allen was dusted in the icy precipitation his pale skin had gotten much paler, lips were a dull blue in color and his body was trembling. Timcanpy hung about his neck, nuzzling its master affectionately.

"Why the hell do you have me waiting here?" Allen asked his voice trembling lightly from the cold. The akuma grinned maniacally but said nothing as it resumed its gaze at the heavy grey clouds that rained an endless torrent of snow upon the land.

'Maybe this wasn't such a good idea,' Allen thought, 'Kanda would probably yell at me if he knew I ran off half cocked and bleeding with no plan or strategy in mind.' A smile twisted up the corners of Allen's pale blue lips at the thought of the dark haired samurai.

Many more hours passed until night bled into day and still Allen awaited the unknown, thinking only of Kanda. He hadn't even realized the other presence in the clearing until the akuma made to leave. Forcing frozen limbs to move Allen shattered the chains that hung about the soul without a second thought.

"Oh good, you didn't freeze. I was sure you were a popsicle, with that blue tint on your skin," Road said laughing as she popped up in front of Allen. The white haired male snapped his eyes up to meet the dangerous pools of liquid gold. 'What's she doing here? It was supposed to be the Earl,' Allen thought disappointed with the outcome of the ordeal.

"Don't look so disappointed Allen, it's making me sad," Road pouted as she stepped closer to Allen who activated his innocence to attack.

"Come now Allen, we've played this game before," Road said a bored look on her face as she dodged every move Allen made. "Let's play something new." A sadistic grin broke out on her face as Allen was boxed into a crystal cage. He fought the black and white splotches that were encroaching on his vision but his attempts were all in vain as he fell into Road's dream world.

xXx

Allen's silver eyes scanned his surroundings feeling a chill run down his spine. He stood on the banks of a lake, the ruins of what appeared to be a church protruded from the dark water. All around him was damp unkempt shrubbery and dead trees. The air was cold and a light fog hovered above the water and worked its way through the dense greenery upon the embankment. The mauve sky was clear save for wispy slivers of grey clouds and the sparse rays of sunlight peering across the landscape as it made its decent behind the horizon.

"Like it Allen? I made it just for you," Road said, emerging from a door to his left. Allen said nothing as he felt something twist in his heart at the nightmare he'd been pulled into. The old decrepit ruins of what was once a proud establishment of faith was half submersed in the dark black waters.

"Why did you bring me here?" Allen asked, unable to pry his gaze from the steeple, rusted and decayed with the harsh and unrelenting burden of time.

"It's your sanctuary isn't it?" Road asked glancing at the ruins. "Typically when people are broken and lost they go to their sanctuary to pray for salvation, don't they? You on the other hand have abandoned yours and now it lies in ruin."

"Why did you bring me here?" Allen asked again more urgently. He'd never seen a place like this before, it wasn't like the sight of it should have effect him. He's seen countless wrecked towns and the rotting remains of what would have once been great structures filled with life and emotion. But looking upon the scene before him, he knew Road was right, that this was _his_ and he knew that it was no one's fault but his own.

"You're not like them Allen," Road said. "You don't turn to the God, that even as you deny it, know isn't there. You told me once that you'd save me, take out the Noah in me like you thought you did to Tyki but you followed that akuma waiting for the Earl and you weren't thinking of saving him, you weren't thinking of the souls that would be saved if you killed him," she paused moving closer to Allen's rigid form. "What were you thinking Allen?"

"My friends…" Allen's voice was soft and hesitant.

"You mean those people you fight alongside, the ones that are condemning you for the Noah that exists within you?" Road asked laughing.

"They don't…they aren't…" Allen's voice was shaky and unsure.

"You weren't thinking of them Allen, even if that's how you justified your intentions. You wanted vengeance, you wanted death," Road's voice was cold and amused. "You're so selfish Allen. You'd fight to the death and wouldn't bat an eyelash about all those you'd be leaving behind once you've killed the source of your confliction."

Allen didn't understand what she was saying; he had been selfish because he wanted to kill the Earl?

"Not him Allen," Road said as if reading his mind, "you're selfish because it's your own death you seek. You are the main player in this game and the Vatican knows this, why else would they be so adamant about keeping you chained like a good little dog."

"Go on a mission here puppy and almost die, prove to us your life is still ours to command," Road mocked as she danced around Allen. "Oh you're innocence is killing you? That's too bad puppy we have to work you until there's nothing left. We have to squeeze out as much from you as we possibly can before you are no longer any use to us."

"Shut up," Allen said though he knew it was true. He wasn't stupid enough to think the Vatican cared anything about his well being and he knew he was on a short leash, he'd even broken down to Kanda about it.

"We need you too Allen, you are the wild card that will end this war," Road said gripping the neck of Allen's coat to drag him closer to her. "Poor puppy so confused, licking the boot of the master that kicks you and biting the hand of the master that feeds you."

"I'll save you," Allen said softly, invoking his innocence. As he did so his heart clenched painfully and he was brought to his knees.

"I don't want you to _save _me Allen. You're the one that needs saving. You don't even know who you are anymore," Road said laughing as she watched the white-haired boy clutch at his chest in desperation.

"I'm Allen Walker," Allen said coughing as he fumbled with the box of pills in his hands.

"And Allen Walker is?" Road's voice was mocking and degrading as she plucked the box from trembling hands. "Is he the proud warrior for God who claims that he'll save both akuma and humans? Or is he the lost lonely little child whose body is being eaten by the very thing God meant as his weapon?"

"I don't have enough time," Allen's voice cracked as he glared up at Road.

"You already know the answer don't you Allen, just looking at the ruins of your faith," Road gestured to the structure amidst the water and fog.

"My innocence may be killing me but I will never betray it," Allen said shuddering as he felt Road stoke his cheek gently, almost affectionately – disgusting.

"Why? What do you have left to fight for?" Road asked. "Your war is a farce and your life is forfeit to your damn God! Your friends don't give a damn about you because in their eyes you're the one who'll betray them, the black sheep! Your dearest _father_ is dead because you killed him and there is nothing but tar in your heart – a dark black substance borne of death and decay! There is absolutely nothing for you to keep fighting for!"

'My promise to Mana,' Allen thought weakly as he clamped his hands over his ears, though he knew his faith in Mana and the motivation of the promise he'd made had become worn and weak like his body and his soul.

"What is it that you fight for? What is it that makes you so strong?" Road asked after receiving only silence.

'Kanda, would yell at me if he saw me like this,' Allen thought as tears began to spill from his silver eyes. 'Kanda, I miss you so much.'

"Are these the things that make you continue to fight even after you've no life left in your body?" Road asked as images of Lenalee and Lavi and Kanda appeared around him. Allen's eyes widened as his eyes trace the image of Kanda with an intense yearning. This look was not lost to Road as a devious smirk lit her features.

"You fight for him?" Road asked laughing. "That just won't do, I won't let him have you Allen because you belong to me." Allen was taken aback by the statement.

"I don't…it's not…he's not…we're not…" Allen stuttered searching for words, searching for coherency in the disharmony of his mind.

"Poor lost little lamb is pining over the stoic Japanese male who'll never return his feelings," Road said sardonically as her candles materialized around the pale boy.

"I'm not!" Allen said glaring heatedly at the Dreams of Noah.

"Then fight him, kill him," Road said as the image drew Mugen, a scowl on his face, "or he _will_ kill you."

Allen scrambled away as Kanda attacked him, narrowly escaping the blade of his Mugen. 'This Kanda isn't real, this is just an illusion,' Allen thought as he dodged and clumsily avoid the attacks. 'Even though he's not real and he's bent on killing me I can't help but want to just fall into his arms and beg him to stay with me.' Allen laughed as he fought off both the Lenalee and Lavi images which had joined the fray.

"Why are you laughing Allen? Have you lost your mind?" Road asked, highly amused with the situation.

'Why am I fighting so hard when I'm the thing that's causing them the most trouble?' Allen thought as he stopped fighting, waiting as Kanda charged at him. Pale arms wrapped around the swordsman's waist holding him close. 'He's just an illusion but…' Allen thought coughing blood into the taller male's chest, Mugen protruding through his back, blood spilling down his sides.

Road's eyes widened in shock at the display before a dark and angered look overtook her face. She would not loose Allen to the male exorcist that he was currently holding onto for dear life.

'As long as there's Kanda, I don't need anything else to fight for,' Allen thought feeling his heart twist as the image shook him off, wrenching the sword from his gut, the ever present scowl still on his face. 'Damn I'm such an idiot!'

"You really have lost everything if you're clinging to an illusion and yearning for an illusion with such fervor," Road spat cruelly. "You are dying now Allen; right now you are slowly freezing to death in a remote clearing – a mere speck on the snowy Russian landscape. Your skin is pale and bears a gorgeous blue tint, your eyes are glassed over and empty, your heart is beating erratically and your resolve to keep on living has long since died. You are going to die out here in this forsaken place with me. Why? Because I'm the only one who has ever loved you!"

Allen refused to listen and invoked, ignoring the burn of his body and the clenching of his heart and attacked with a renewed lust for life. He would make it out of this if only to crawl back to the Order and see Kanda again. He didn't care about the Earl who he'd be chasing after for the rest of his life and he didn't care about the Vatican who would be ordering him around for as long as he remained useful to them and he sure as hell didn't care about his stupid body and how it was deteriorating with every breath he took and every hit of his invoked innocence.

"You are a stubborn fool!" Road yelled angrily as Allen gripped her neck and began to squeeze. "You can't kill me in my own dream world," candles drilled into Allen's back and limbs forcing him to the ground.

"You were cheating Allen, that's not very nice. You have to play fair so that everyone gets a turn," Road spat as her candles bored deeper into Allen's body, making him scream in agony. Still Allen struggled, despite the pressure and the pain.

"You know what Allen?" Road smiled sadistically as she leaned forward and licked at the side of his face. "You will be the cause of his destruction. He'll come running to save you and then he'll die. You will send your own lover to hell and then the Noah in you will crush whatever's left of Allen Walker and you'll simply be the Musician – the betrayer."

Allen ceased struggling as the words hit him hard. _Because you'll fall with me and I can't allow that…I won't let you die for me, if you ever get close I'll stop you. _'I'm so selfish,' Allen's thoughts came to an abrupt stop as he gave in to the pain and was simply lost to the troubled caverns of his mind. Road smirked down at Allen's limp from and the glassy eyed stare that he wore, she had broken him. He was no longer there – it was his punishment for disappointing her.

xXx

"Idiot apprentice," Cross muttered as he stomped through the wooded Russian landscape.

xXx

'I'm coming for you Allen, just wait for me,' Kanda thought as he glanced out the train's window to the blurred scenery. He had been on the train for four days now and he was antsy as hell waiting to arrive and begin his search for his Moyashi.

Hevlaska had given Komui a solution to keeping Allen alive but it was a long shot and Allen would never agree to it. Kanda knew for a fact that Allen would rather die than allow them to attempt to extract his innocence. If it was no longer a part of his body he could recover easily, or that was the theory anyway, then once he had fully recovered and was able to eat again they would attempt to put his innocence back into his body. If it worked then he'd be as good as new and they would have at least a couple of years to find a better solution.

The idea was a horrible one in Kanda's opinion, to loose his innocence and become utterly useless and helpless wouldn't sit well with Allen and it wasn't even guaranteed to work; there was a 73 percent chance that Allen would survive the extraction process, only 56 percent if he were to retain his arm through it. The recovering would be difficult and a _full_ recovery even more so. Then there was less than 30 percent chance that the resynchronization would work. Those were not the kind of odds that Kanda liked to play.

Kanda had left the Order in a huff, telling Komui to find another way and to get the ridiculous idea out of his head before he had to cut it out. There was no way he was going to let the crazed scientist with a sister complex operate on Allen with only a 30 percent chance of success. Where Komui was concerned even if there was a hundred percent chance of success the things and plans often end up in a complete failure.

xXx

Timcanpy fluttered about the snow dusted mound that was Allen. Road's box had dematerialized leaving Allen's body slumped on the ground. Allen remained unconscious even with Tim biting his hand and flying into him in continuous attempts to wake his master.

"Of all the damn places to get lost," Cross muttered angrily as he tromped closer to the clearing. He saw a flash of gold through the trees and smirked, making his way to the flying golem.

Cross stared down at Allen taking in the pale skin, blue lips and frozen limbs amidst the snowdrifts. He hefted the boy up under one arm, frail body hanging limply at the eccentric General's side. He began to trudge back through the forest towards a small hut he'd passed on his search.

"You really fell into some deep shit this time didn't you idiot apprentice?" Cross asked the unconscious boy before turning to Timcanpy, "show me what happened to him."

xXx

By the time the recording had come to an end Cross had reached the hut. After having seen the events of the past few days Cross shook his head and whacked Allen over the head before dumping him on the ground near the fireplace. In a few moments there was a roaring fire and Cross had lit up a smoke leaning against a wall.

'You can't die yet idiot, the war has only begun to show its foul truth,' Cross thought as he stared at Allen.

xXx

Kanda was off the train before it had even come to a complete stop and was rushing through the town. He didn't even know where to start, the likelihood of Allen being anywhere easily accessible was low seeing as the finder couldn't even find him.

'Allen where are you?' Kanda thought as he made his way through the city.

xXx

Cross glared at Allen, the boy had woken up in a manner of speaking. He was silent and he stared out at everything with glossed over silver eyes. Allen was nothing more than a doll, an adorable, tattered and torn up doll. As far as Cross could tell Allen's mind was no longer there.

Cross had hit him and yelled at him and even told him that he had to pay off a new set of debts he'd managed to rake up but still Allen just stared – completely unresponsive to anything around him.

"That Noah really pulled a number on you, didn't she boy?" Cross asked as he blew a puff of smoke at Allen, threading his fingers in the stark white hair and raising the head it was attached to. "To think you'd be done in by a girl punier than you are."

"You better damn well snap out of whatever the hell fucked you up because I'm not going to watch over you when you can't even pay off my debts," Cross snapped as he tossed the stub of his cigarette into the fire and lit up another one.

Sighing Cross eyed the boy before him; his cursed eye had activated and was turning wildly signifying there were akuma in the area. The cross on Allen's left hand began to glow, a soft green color as if the innocence was urging its user to activate it. 'Well now, there may be hope for you yet,' Cross thought as he stood.

"Stand up and fight boy or you'll die," Cross said not waiting for any sort of recognition which he knew wouldn't come and picked the boy up by the scruff of his neck and tossed him out into the snow. The boy lay where he had fallen, Cross stood in the doorway of the small shack watching as the akuma neared Allen.

Timcanpy flew around Allen almost begging the boy to move and not get killed by the hoard of akuma. 'Stand up Allen,' Cross thought, 'stand up.'

xXx

"I don't want to die," Allen's voice was so quiet that Road thought it had been her imagination. She had been enjoying her time floating about Allen's mind and filtering through the memories that plagued him. "Kanda," Tears began to spill from hollow chrome plated eyes.

"There's still some life left in you after all," Road said grinning. "You are by far my favorite toy."

xXx

Allen's innocence activated, Clown Crown masking the glassy blank stare in his silver eyes and engulfing him in a white that almost brought back some life to his body. His innocence moved him like the beautiful little marionette he was and fought off the akuma, releasing the souls from their bondage. Once there were no more akuma his innocence deactivated and his body was once again reacquainted with the ground.

Cross walked over and stared down at Allen a smirk on his face. 'You'll be just fine I don't know what all those people back at the Order are worrying about,' Cross thought as he walked away, leaving Allen in the snow, only a few feet away from the hut. 'You wouldn't be my apprentice if you were so easy to break.'

xXx

Amongst the bustling people on the snowy city streets Kanda searched. After getting a vague lead from a store's clerk Kanda made his way towards the outskirts of the town that led into the forest. _He was a small boy, with white hair and a strange black coat. He was following a young girl._ 'You went off on your own accord. Why?' Kanda thought as he felt the urgency build in him and quickly navigated the streets.

Kanda came to an abrupt stop as his eyes took in the figure of General Marian Cross and a scowl fixed itself upon his face. 'What's that bastard doing here?' Kanda thought as he approached the man.

'Oh so the girly-man is here for him then,' Cross thought laughing.

"You better hurry boy, he's all alone out there in the snow," Cross said laughing again as he took in the furious and worried expression that flitted across Kanda's face as he brushed past Cross running into the forest.

'Baka Moyashi, better be alive damn it,' Kanda thought as he rushed through the snowy underbrush, eyes scanning his surroundings for any glimpse of Allen. He followed the footprints that had been left in the snow by the womanizing general until he came upon the small hut and Timcanpy curled atop Allen's unconscious form.

"Allen!" Kanda called as he skinned to a stop in front of Allen, pulling the pale boy into his arms and hugging him tightly. 'He's freezing,' Kanda cursed as he lifted Allen into his arms and walked into the hut, kicking the door closed behind him. He gently laid Allen down in front of the dying fire and tossed a few blocks of wood from the pile to his right into the dimly burning embers.

"Allen, wake up," Kanda said his voice desperate as he stroked Allen's cheek and pressed his lips to the frigid ones beneath him. "Please Allen."

xXx

"Kanda," Allen's voice cracked as Road cupped his cheek.

"I didn't think he'd actually come for you, but you do realize that now he's here he'll die," Road's voice was cruel to his shot senses.

"Kanda," Allen coughed as blood spilled from his lips.

"What's so special about him?" Road asked her face contorting in anger.

"Kanda," Allen's voice was below a whisper. Road slapped Allen across his face as his silver eyes became somewhat lucid.

"I'll kill him and then you'll have to look only at me!" Road yelled only to get stabbed through the gut by Allen's innocence – something she had not expected in the least.

"I won't let you," Allen's voice was broken and shaky, his limbs felt like lead and his mind was full of cotton.

"You were already gone," Road coughed as blood spattered the ground and Allen's face, "I already won you."

"You can't win a game that has no end," Allen said through his hazy thoughts as he felt his body become his own again and he was suddenly looking up into deep, worried cobalt eyes.

xXx

"Kanda," Allen couldn't believe his eyes as he broke down in tears.

"Baka Moyashi," Kanda muttered as he pulled Allen into a tight embrace, placing a kiss on the crown of the trembling boy's head. "Do you have any idea how fucking pissed off I am right now? Not only did you run off on a mission by yourself when you were injured but after completing the mission you just upped and disappeared without a word to anyone. I swear you little brat I'm going to bea-" Kanda was cut off by pale hesitant lips against his.

All the words and insults had flown out of Kanda's mind and he deepened the kiss, drinking in the yearning and the passion that had built up over the past month they'd been apart.

"I love you Kanda," Allen whispered softly as they broke apart, shimmering silver eyes boring into Kanda's cobalt ones.

"Don't even think for a second that you can just bat those pretty little eyes at me and I'm going to forget everything like it never happened," Kanda said glaring down at Allen.

"You're real right? She's not screwing with me right?" Allen asked though he knew that Road could never simulate Kanda's personality.

"Baka Moyashi," Kanda said as he hugged Allen closer, the smaller boy welcoming the warmth and security.

"BaKanda," Allen replied a small smile lighting the sickly pallor of his skin.

"Are you cold?" Kanda asked as he felt Allen begin to tremble in his arms.

"No," Allen whispered.

"You're lying," Kanda growled as he shrugged of his exorcist coat and draped it over Allen's shoulders.

"I'm fine really Kanda, though my head still feels a bit fuzzy," Allen said softly.

"What did she do to you?" Kanda asked.

"I imagine it was that same as what happened with Lavi when we were in the ark," Allen said vaguely.

"What did she do to you Allen?" Kanda's voice was hard and serious.

"Don't leave me Kanda, there's only a couple more days before Christmas…can I stay with you until then?" Allen asked. 'I'm selfish and foolish for wanting this but please…' Allen thought.

"You little idiot, as if I'm going to leave you alone for a minute after all the worrying you put me through," Kanda growled. "And I'll stay with you long after Christmas passes."

"Komui said-" Allen was cut off by a glare from Kanda.

"I don't give a damn what Komui said, he doesn't know what the heck he's talking about. You can't measure people's lives in numbers, there are too many uncertainties. You aren't going to die anytime soon," Kanda said.

"You don't know that," Allen said as he felt a dull pain running through his body. Allen groaned as he slid his eyes shut, tremors wracking his body, shoulders hunched and arms crossed over his stomach protectively.

"Neither do you," Kanda replied confidently stroking his fingers through Allen's hair in an affectionate gesture of comfort. "Rest now, we'll talk later." Kanda kept Allen securely in his arms all through the night as the tremors subsided.

xXx

"Don't worry about time baka," Kanda said flicking Allen lightly on the forehead as though he were scolding a young child.

It had been three days since Kanda had found Allen and he had taken the boy back to the city to get him medical attention. Allen had been falling in and out of consciousness with a high fever for the past 47 hours and Kanda was a little bit more than worried. Allen's fever had just begun to drop and his breathing evened out, smiling wearily up at Kanda tears began to spill from his silver eyes.

"Don't think about next week and don't think about next month, we can worry about that later. Just stay with me until tomorrow Allen," Kanda whispered as his grip tightened on Allen's hand.

"Merry Christmas Kanda," Allen's voice was calm though shaky.

"Same to you Moyashi," Kanda said smirking as he brought Allen's hand to his lips and placed a feather soft kiss on his knuckles. Allen's eyes drifted to the window overlooking the town; there was a deep sadness in his eyes.

"Oi," Kanda drew Allen's attention back to him, "in less than an hour you will have lasted past Christmas, though you did sleep most of the day away." Allen smiled, gorgeous silver pools laughing at Kanda's light attempt of humor. "You are going to single handedly prove Komui wrong, again and once you're fever has gone down some more we can head back to the Order."

"When did you become so nice?" Allen asked.

"You're hallucinating brat," Kanda smirked as he ruffled Allen's hair affectionately.

"You're probably right," Allen said coughing a bit as he pulled himself into a sitting position.

"Oi don't move around so much," Kanda said.

"It's alright, the dizzy spells aren't that bad anymore," Allen said as he shifted over a bit patting the bed next to him. Kanda cocked a brow while a smirk made its way to his face – he knew what Allen wanted. Allen frowned a bit when Kanda didn't immediately get up to sit beside him. "Please come sit with me," his voice was soft and his expression was just too adorable for Kanda to deny him.

"Only because you asked so nicely," Kanda said as he crawled onto the bed next to Allen, pulling the boy to lean against him and letting one arm drape around his shoulders. The two stayed in silence, Allen staring out the window and Kanda looking down at Allen. When the first rays of sun spilled over the horizon the world outside the window was bathed in the most ethereal light, the colorful buildings seemed to dance and the once dark snow covered streets were bright and lively.

"You see that sunrise Allen?" Kanda asked as he rested his chin in Allen's white locks. "That is you outliving that stupid estimation." Allen smiled as he tilted his head up stealing Kanda's lips in a soft kiss.

"Live only for tomorrow Allen," Kanda's voice was gentle yet firm. "We'll go it together, one day at a time."

The burden of time can be harsh, the seconds and minutes and hours bleed into days and weeks and months, constantly wearing away resolve and hope. But if nothing else exists but tomorrow, if forever is only one day away you'll always be able to make it back to me.

_End_

* * *

A/N: So I finally finished it! This is the sequel to _Not All Things Change_ that I promised everyone. I'm not exactly sure if I liked how the entire fic was built up – I think I may have messed up with the timeline – though I did like how the ending turned out. I hope everyone enjoyed reading this one as much as the first.

I probably won't be updating anything for a while since I have a lot of work to catch up on and my birthday is coming up soon (I suspect that I'll be kidnapped several times by various groups of people who I consider my friends…sometimes anyway)

Until next time, thanks to everyone who read and reviewed my works.

Comments are welcomed – they make me happy :)


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